2016 Roanoke Animal Hospital Christmas Celebrations
What a wonderful night at the Movies. We celebrated with our families this year by renting out a movie theater. We watched some fun movies, visited and even had the 2016 Pawscar Awards. Dr. Shepherd's full speach runs below some photos of our fun evening. He can be quite the wordsmith when he puts his mind to it. Enjoy!
Pawsies 2016
In keeping with tonight's "night at the movies" theme, we'd like to welcome one and all to the first (and almost certainly the last) annual Pawscars Awards. These most "prestigious" awards, will recognize those who make important and valued contributions to caring for the pets and people who make what we do, so special. So in the interest of time and with no commercial breaks, let us begin. Please listen closely for your NAME to be called to come forward to accept your award and please limit acceptance speeches to 5-10 seconds of complete silence.
Best Director: For her tireless efforts in the long running smash hit soap opera, "Organized Chaos" coincidentally set right here with us at Roanoke Animal Hospital, and starring all of us. She's part wrangler, part despotic tyrant, part cat-herder, part Mommy. She's the "Grease" to our squeaky wheels. She's the Darth Vader of our little Galactic Empire. The J. J. Abrams of veterinary hospital management; Liz Bird!
Best Actor in a Leading Role: A relative newcomer, and first time attendee at a RAH Christmas Event, famous for his signature catch phrase "your dog is way too fat" for his ongoing portrayal, in the role of the much beloved Dr. Weight-Nazi, You know him, you love him, Dr. Jeff Covington!
Best Writing, Original Screenplay, Adaptation, Medical Records, or Sympathy Card: She's eloquent, she's urbane, she's verbose. Walking and writing in the footsteps of the great ones before her. From Abraham Lincoln to Winston Churchill, from Dr. Marty Becker to Dr. Michael Obenski. Our very own Dr. Wordsmith herself, Dr. Lisa Stickney!
Best Actress in a Leading Role: For her long time portrayal of one of the the most difficult roles a hardworking actress/veterinarian can take on. For her care and keeping of her extensive and very, very needy, fan base. For her zen-like restraint in having not committed an act of physical violence against the bevy of whiners, decliners, moaners and groaners, she seems to somehow attract, and for her absolute commitment to the part. For her record breaking run in her starring role as Dr. Patience Handholder. Dr. Joni Noel!
Best Makeup, Hairstyling, or Costume Design: You'll remember this team from such classics as, "Maggot Infested Chow", "Just Brush Out My Dogs Haircoat Even Though It's Just One Large Mat", and "My Dog Doesn't Have Fleas, He Must Have Gotten Them From Your Parking Lot". They make the ugly beautiful again. The scary are made adorable. This dynamic duo are fur artists in their own right. The Edith Heads of pet grooming, Debbie Morin and Jennifer Stiver!
Best Ensemble Cast in a Comedy: For their tireless efforts at bring joy and laughter to a role that can be exhausting, frustrating, and even dangerous at times. To a cast of characters who can almost always find a way to laugh together (and sometimes at themselves), in the face of pockets full of feces, faces covered in volcanic pus, urine soaked clothes, and anal sac scented hair. They're part comedian, part stagehand, part cat juggler, part luchador, and all about caring for pets and their people, (And unlike most Hollywood dilettantes,they ALWAYS do their own stunt work) From our cast of veterinary technicians; Larissa Middleton, Sharon Reid, Tiffany Reese, Misty Gorzeman, Katie Toole!
Best Ensemble Cast in a Drama: In a decision that will likely come as a great surprise to absolutely no one, this very special group deals with more drama (not always of their own making) in just one day than the average Hollywood divorce attorney does in an entire career. Whatever the adversity, they make. it. work. In the great cinematic traditions of The Dirty Dozen, Platoon, and 12 Angry Men. Their middle names aren't actually "Drama", but maybe they should be, an ensemble cast chosen from our exceptionally talented receptionists; Shayne DuVall, Brooke Fluty, Stacy Beard, Stephanie Gonzalez, Clinton Smith!
Technical Achievement, Sound, Smell, and Visual Editing : For stellar management of the sights, sounds, but especially the smells associated with the day to day workings of a modern veterinary facility, we would like to recognize the unsung heroes in our little melodrama, the flying monkeys in our Wizard of Oz, the 7 dwarves of our Snow White, the trolls under the bridge that make us all look like stars, from our stellar Kennel Tech Crew; Sara Maenza, Roxy Burson, Kara Ciccone
Best Musical Score: For his long-running live action album and concerts series, "Lunch Time Cat Serenades, Live from The RAH Cat Boarding Suite". He hasn't sold a single record yet, because frankly his fan base is all cats, and they mostly don't have credit cards. That most talented of feline crooners, Hayden Jones!
In Memoriam category: In the only award tonight that was actually based on a nomination directly from her coworkers, we would like to recognize one special receptionist. Beloved by most, but especially tiny, tiny dogs and really old people. Generally pretty certain that she knows the "right" way to do everything, whether it's actually true or not. In the light-heartedly teasing words of her fellow receptionists, "a bit of a busybody, and sometimes sort of a know-it-all". Tonight's first ever DeeDee Lake Memorial Award, for her valiant efforts to fill a big void in our hearts and in our ranks, Candice Alexander!
Legacy Award: For a body of work that spans almost 2 decades, we would like to honor 2 very special ladies tonight. Much like cinematic greats, Betty White, Lauren Bacall, or Zsa Zsa Gabor, it feels like these ladies have been around literally forever. Now I'm not saying these ladies are old but: the first pet one of them ever groomed...wait for it...a woolly mammoth, the first patient the other ever administered meds to...wait for it...a T-Rex. We have been blessed to be a part of their careers and their personal lives, and even to watch their kids grow from infants to (almost) adulthood. They are both truly integral parts of all the we strive to do. This would NOT be the same place without them. You know them. You love them. Candy Methvin and Christy DuVall!
Lastly, we come to the time for saying "goodbye". In the time honored tradition of award shows since the dawn of time, the passage of father time inevitably takes its terrible toll on any group. At this time we would like to take a short moment of silence for those who are about to pass from us. It is with heavy hearts that we say farewell, to two of our very own. Though they won't really be dead, they will, of course be dead to us. To their significant others, who are taking them away, Brent, Chris; I think I can speak for everyone, when I say, "We hate you, and we hope you fail". Good night dear ladies and Bon voyage. Shea Johnson, and Dr. Lauren Shell.
So that brings the awards portion of our show to a close. We thank each and every one of you for your hard work and dedication to your craft and to our little ensemble cast. So To paraphrase a traditional and time honored well wish among performers from LA to Broadway, "Good night, and break a leg".
Oh, and Merry Christmas!
In keeping with tonight's "night at the movies" theme, we'd like to welcome one and all to the first (and almost certainly the last) annual Pawscars Awards. These most "prestigious" awards, will recognize those who make important and valued contributions to caring for the pets and people who make what we do, so special. So in the interest of time and with no commercial breaks, let us begin. Please listen closely for your NAME to be called to come forward to accept your award and please limit acceptance speeches to 5-10 seconds of complete silence.
Best Director: For her tireless efforts in the long running smash hit soap opera, "Organized Chaos" coincidentally set right here with us at Roanoke Animal Hospital, and starring all of us. She's part wrangler, part despotic tyrant, part cat-herder, part Mommy. She's the "Grease" to our squeaky wheels. She's the Darth Vader of our little Galactic Empire. The J. J. Abrams of veterinary hospital management; Liz Bird!
Best Actor in a Leading Role: A relative newcomer, and first time attendee at a RAH Christmas Event, famous for his signature catch phrase "your dog is way too fat" for his ongoing portrayal, in the role of the much beloved Dr. Weight-Nazi, You know him, you love him, Dr. Jeff Covington!
Best Writing, Original Screenplay, Adaptation, Medical Records, or Sympathy Card: She's eloquent, she's urbane, she's verbose. Walking and writing in the footsteps of the great ones before her. From Abraham Lincoln to Winston Churchill, from Dr. Marty Becker to Dr. Michael Obenski. Our very own Dr. Wordsmith herself, Dr. Lisa Stickney!
Best Actress in a Leading Role: For her long time portrayal of one of the the most difficult roles a hardworking actress/veterinarian can take on. For her care and keeping of her extensive and very, very needy, fan base. For her zen-like restraint in having not committed an act of physical violence against the bevy of whiners, decliners, moaners and groaners, she seems to somehow attract, and for her absolute commitment to the part. For her record breaking run in her starring role as Dr. Patience Handholder. Dr. Joni Noel!
Best Makeup, Hairstyling, or Costume Design: You'll remember this team from such classics as, "Maggot Infested Chow", "Just Brush Out My Dogs Haircoat Even Though It's Just One Large Mat", and "My Dog Doesn't Have Fleas, He Must Have Gotten Them From Your Parking Lot". They make the ugly beautiful again. The scary are made adorable. This dynamic duo are fur artists in their own right. The Edith Heads of pet grooming, Debbie Morin and Jennifer Stiver!
Best Ensemble Cast in a Comedy: For their tireless efforts at bring joy and laughter to a role that can be exhausting, frustrating, and even dangerous at times. To a cast of characters who can almost always find a way to laugh together (and sometimes at themselves), in the face of pockets full of feces, faces covered in volcanic pus, urine soaked clothes, and anal sac scented hair. They're part comedian, part stagehand, part cat juggler, part luchador, and all about caring for pets and their people, (And unlike most Hollywood dilettantes,they ALWAYS do their own stunt work) From our cast of veterinary technicians; Larissa Middleton, Sharon Reid, Tiffany Reese, Misty Gorzeman, Katie Toole!
Best Ensemble Cast in a Drama: In a decision that will likely come as a great surprise to absolutely no one, this very special group deals with more drama (not always of their own making) in just one day than the average Hollywood divorce attorney does in an entire career. Whatever the adversity, they make. it. work. In the great cinematic traditions of The Dirty Dozen, Platoon, and 12 Angry Men. Their middle names aren't actually "Drama", but maybe they should be, an ensemble cast chosen from our exceptionally talented receptionists; Shayne DuVall, Brooke Fluty, Stacy Beard, Stephanie Gonzalez, Clinton Smith!
Technical Achievement, Sound, Smell, and Visual Editing : For stellar management of the sights, sounds, but especially the smells associated with the day to day workings of a modern veterinary facility, we would like to recognize the unsung heroes in our little melodrama, the flying monkeys in our Wizard of Oz, the 7 dwarves of our Snow White, the trolls under the bridge that make us all look like stars, from our stellar Kennel Tech Crew; Sara Maenza, Roxy Burson, Kara Ciccone
Best Musical Score: For his long-running live action album and concerts series, "Lunch Time Cat Serenades, Live from The RAH Cat Boarding Suite". He hasn't sold a single record yet, because frankly his fan base is all cats, and they mostly don't have credit cards. That most talented of feline crooners, Hayden Jones!
In Memoriam category: In the only award tonight that was actually based on a nomination directly from her coworkers, we would like to recognize one special receptionist. Beloved by most, but especially tiny, tiny dogs and really old people. Generally pretty certain that she knows the "right" way to do everything, whether it's actually true or not. In the light-heartedly teasing words of her fellow receptionists, "a bit of a busybody, and sometimes sort of a know-it-all". Tonight's first ever DeeDee Lake Memorial Award, for her valiant efforts to fill a big void in our hearts and in our ranks, Candice Alexander!
Legacy Award: For a body of work that spans almost 2 decades, we would like to honor 2 very special ladies tonight. Much like cinematic greats, Betty White, Lauren Bacall, or Zsa Zsa Gabor, it feels like these ladies have been around literally forever. Now I'm not saying these ladies are old but: the first pet one of them ever groomed...wait for it...a woolly mammoth, the first patient the other ever administered meds to...wait for it...a T-Rex. We have been blessed to be a part of their careers and their personal lives, and even to watch their kids grow from infants to (almost) adulthood. They are both truly integral parts of all the we strive to do. This would NOT be the same place without them. You know them. You love them. Candy Methvin and Christy DuVall!
Lastly, we come to the time for saying "goodbye". In the time honored tradition of award shows since the dawn of time, the passage of father time inevitably takes its terrible toll on any group. At this time we would like to take a short moment of silence for those who are about to pass from us. It is with heavy hearts that we say farewell, to two of our very own. Though they won't really be dead, they will, of course be dead to us. To their significant others, who are taking them away, Brent, Chris; I think I can speak for everyone, when I say, "We hate you, and we hope you fail". Good night dear ladies and Bon voyage. Shea Johnson, and Dr. Lauren Shell.
So that brings the awards portion of our show to a close. We thank each and every one of you for your hard work and dedication to your craft and to our little ensemble cast. So To paraphrase a traditional and time honored well wish among performers from LA to Broadway, "Good night, and break a leg".
Oh, and Merry Christmas!
